As I sit here and type this, we are on Day 5 of Jacob refusing to nurse. OK, that's not
completely true because he will nurse first thing in the morning when he wakes up. But, that's it! And it's been like that since Monday. I am not completely sure what the reason is although it probably has something to do with his stuffy nose and/or his swollen (and probaby painful) gums. I was able to see one of his top teeth barely popping through yesterday so I am sure that he is in discomfort. Boy, how I hate teething!!
So, what does this
nursing strike mean for us? Well, I have been trying not to freak out about it but admittedly I am! I am trying not to look too far into the future, trying not to worry about him becoming dehydrated or starving, trying not to wonder if this is him weaning or is it just a stage that he'll get past, trying not to check every diaper to see if he is peeing the "correct" amount, basically trying not to think too much about it....but, all of this
not thinking has me worried and thinking about it All. The. Time!
Also, I wish I had pushed him to use a sippy cup more (this would help the situation as he could just drink the breastmilk if he isn't going to nurse). He is definitely getting better at using a cup, but he is by no means proficient or successful most of the time. He can get a little liquid in his mouth and down his throat but, for the most part, it just dribbles down his little chin.
The worst part is that I am feeling very guilty! Guilty for raising my voice the few times that he has bitten me (experts say that could be a cause for babies to stop nursing, but I am pretty sure that isn't the case with Jacob since he hasn't done it in awhile), guilty for sometimes secretly wishing that I didn't have to nurse anymore and basically just guilty for whatever it is that I did (or didn't do) to make this happen. I know, I know....I probably didn't do (or not do) anything to cause this, but as a mother who is the provider of nutrition and hydration for her child, I have this overwhelming guilty feeling! The whole thing just makes me sad and angry and frustrated.
I spoke with Cindy, our nurse at our pediatrician's office, on Wednesday and she told me to continue to do the same things that I have been doing.....offering Jacob the breast everytime he is supposed to nurse, being patient with him and trying to minimize distractions, pumping and offering the milk to Jake in a sippy cup - even if he only gets a little bit of it, and giving him less solids to make him more "hungry" for the milk. Oh, and not stressing (I am trying to work on that part!!)
So far, even though nothing has worked, Jacob still seems to be super happy during the day. He doesn't seem to be dehydrated and his output (pee & poop) are both looking normal (although his morning diapers aren't as full as they normally are). Cindy said to give him until Monday and if he still isn't back to normal nursing by then, I need to give them a call. I am just hoping and praying that he "turns a corner" today or in the near future and I don't have to make that call. Any and all prayers are welcome!